Things that Boil my Piss in RC Racing

Super Glue

More specifically, the bottles it comes in. Super Gluing Tyres to Wheels is an annoying job at the best of times. The screw caps are forever welding themselves in place and are fecking impossible to unscrew. If its not possible to stop this happening, why don’t they make the top and bottom of the screw cap hexagon shaped so that you can get a better purchase on them with a couple of wrenches/spanners without half an hour of frustration and with some skin left on your hands?

Motor Leads

You get to the track. The sunshine predicted to last all day is more vertically moist than you were lead to believe. The 7.5 turn in your 2wd is a mistake. You can change your diff by taking out six screws. So why does changing the motor (which could arguably be the most effective response to changing conditions) involve unsoldering and resoldering 3 joints?

Spares Bundling

If the part I need is a 1mm plastic shim, why do I have to buy a pack of 2 wishbones for £15 to get it?

Half assed Manuals

If some bits are different on either side of the car, please make it very clear. If the diff is going to eat the transmission housing in 3 three yards flat if you don’t put that tiny shim in the right place with plenty of grease on, then make it even more clear. I’m thinking big fuck off arrows in fluorescent pink with scary German words like ‘ACHTUNG!’

Schumacher Tyres

When I can get my hands on JConcepts or Proline tyres, I much prefer them. But more and more, supply monopoly means I can’t or they’re not a control tyre. So sorry Schumacher, but you are due a shoe-ing for this. Dairylea with a bit of black food colouring is not a suitable material for race tyre construction. Redesign the sidewall on your 2wd fronts, its just embarrassing now. And for the love of God, what have you got against QC? When I opened a packet of your Silver cut staggers last year, the bead had so many radical deformations that I could only bring two words to mind. Bernard Manning’s bum crack.

Tamiya and Plastic Bearings

To use the Dudley vernacular: Jaysus Tamiya, you’d skin a turd for a farthing.

Bump Steer and Ackerman

The guy who designed the Aero for Michael Schumacher’s Bennetons and Ferraris once explained to me how a diffuser creates a low pressure void, and on another occasion what a barge board does with vortices to send air under the car. Both without visual aids, and yet clearly enough that I can easily recall the complex concepts. Can a steering genius try and do the same for the dark arts of Bump Steer and Ackerman please?

Near Invisible Markings on Lipos

Its not just the eye-watering expense of perma-fucking an ESC that sends a previously sanguine racer postal about this. It isn’t the loss of the final for no good reason. It isn’t even the quite serious risk of burns or other painful injury. What instantly turns your calm demeanor into Cocaine Bear bloodlust, is that you and everyone in the paddock who heard the pop, and inhaled the unmistakable aroma of BBQ Hobbywing is thinking the same thing. Namely, “You prize tit”.

Can you put some bright red markings on the positive terminal please?